“The Sound of Silence” – A 9/11 Remembrance

John 4:24 says “God is spirit, and those who worship him must worship in spirit and truth.”

This weekend marked the tenth anniversary of September 11, 2001. As I watched the live memorial I was overcome with emotion of the event, thinking back on the day itself and remembering the events that have marked the last 10 years.

Speakers got up to read the names of the fallen. Other speakers shared personal stories of the days leading up to the tragedy. Other still spoke of a lost brother or sister, a lost wife, a lost friend. My emotions were not really engaged until Paul Simon came on to sing his famous tune “The Sound of Silence.” Hearing Mr. Simon sing the dirge-like song allowed me to connect with those around the memorial.

This is a song I listen to frequently; it’s on my “airplane mix.”  But hearing Mr. Simon sing those ominous words against the backdrop of the memorial, in the midst of tens of thousands of people conducting personal remembrances, it struck me how powerful music can be.

There are so many things that could’ve been done in tribute, but music was chosen. That made me think about the One who created music.

I’m not a musician by any stretch of the imagination. Often I’m asked to stop clapping along with songs in church because I’m throwing off the people around me. Lately I’ve even stopped singing all together to ponder the words of the songs being sung by those using their talents to glorify God. That’s not to say I’m not worshipping God both “in spirit and in truth,” rather I’m taking the distraction of myself (and my awful timing and voice) out of the mix so that I can fully participate in worship.

That being said I have a tremendous appreciation for musicians. Watching a man play his guitar who is singing a song written from the depths of his being is one of the more fulfilling aspects of life for me. Whenever I hear a moving song, or see a moving performance like what I saw Paul Simon give, I’m always left to question “Who told you to do that?”

Music, singing in particular, is a very common theme throughout the Bible. 189 different times the terms “singing” or “songs” appear in the scriptures. It fascinates me that God has times He wants songs sung, He has instruments he wants used, the He has prescribed ways He wants to be worshipped and music plays a big role in that worship. In fact we see a command in the book of 1 Chronicles: “Sing to him, sing praise to him; tell of all his wonderful acts.”

As I reflect on the different commercials shown throughout the day on September 11 it is clear that marketing departments understand that music captures the emotion of a moment. Like a photograph, i can invoke more that what is available to the naked eye.  It can bring back a smell, a feeling, a taste, a sensation, or it can simply transport you back to a place in your life in an instant.

Take a look at each of the videos and see if it doesn’t do the same for you.

Click here for more information on the 9/11 Memorial

Conducting a day of solitude and self-discovery

man enjoying solitude“Solitude is disappointing before it’s fulfilling.”  – Darrin Patrick

This goes without saying, but I’m interested in myself.  What makes me tick.  Why I think the way I do.  Why I fail so often.  I’m not interested in navel gazing, but I’m genuinely interested in learning about how God created me and who he created me to be.

Solitude is a necessary discipline of a life well lived; however, it’s not something that comes naturally.  It’s an active discipline that we need to plan for, care for, and practice.

What is it?

Solitude is an active pursuit of myself and who I am created to be.  Real solitude has always been something I’ve experienced, not something I’ve done.

Solitude is not going into my basement, crossing my legs, and saying a bunch of “om’s.”  It is also not “clearing my mind” or “freeing my mind” as some have suggested.  Instead it is an active engagement of my will, my intellect, and my emotions for a brief period of time with the outcome being a better understanding of myself, leading to action items to better my life and lives of those I touch.

Todd Duncan says the practice of solitude must have a defined start time and end time.  It also must be accompanied by action items.

The first time you attempt to practice solitude it can feel a little silly.  If you are anything like me you cannot sit still for 10 minutes without having thoughts of work, family, entertainment, and the fact that I’m a little hungry – I could eat.  The good news is that embracing solitude will help you put some structure around types of thoughts.

Here is how to have a successful day of solitude that leads to action items which will improve your quality of life.

Preparing for a day of Solitude

Before embarking on your first Solitude journey it will be important to do the following:

  • Plan a time.  It’s critical you give yourself 8-10 hours.  This means you need to cut or drastically limit contact with the outside world for this period of time.  It also means you need to get a good nights sleep the day(s) leading up to this time.  It means treating the day the same way you would a workday – at your desk by 8am, then at your place of solitude by 8am too.
  • Prepare a place.  Put yourself in a place where you cannot be distracted by the outside world.  Starbucks seems like a good choice, but a guy spilling his coffee on his shirt might cost you 20 minutes, that group of loud college kids might cost you another 20 minutes, and the dad disciplining his kid over there might cost you another 20 minutes. Being pulled out of this focused mindset and then having to get back into will take at least 20 minutes, so don’t sell yourself short by choosing a poor location.
  • Pack a lunch.  Don’t underestimate the power of lunchtime.  Leaving your place to hit the nearest Chick-Fil-A will not only cost you ~45-60 minutes in real time, but dreaming about it 15 minutes beforehand and the time coming out of it can be very costly.  Not to mention if you choose a really heavy lunch it can kill your entire afternoon.  Packing a light lunch can be the key to a successful afternoon.
  • Procure the main resources:  A journal to write in, three pens (you’ll know why when it happens), a favorite book that spurs your thinking, and an iPod full of both pump-up and mellow music.

Once you’ve done these preparatory steps you are ready to face the day.

 

Conducting a day of Solitude

As I stated earlier, it is important to treat this day like a typical work day.  The first part of a typical Scott Lewis workday is 8am to 5pm (then again 8pm to midnight).  When I go out for a day of solitude this is how I typically divide my day.

7am to 8am – Breakfast, Read ESPN, chat with Stephanie and the kids, etc.

8am to 9am – Conduct a normal time with God.  My normal daily quiet time ranges from 15 minutes to 60 minutes, but on a day like this it is important slow down and spend time in God’s word.  I follow Darrin Patrick’s ROAD model when I read the scriptures (Read, Observe, Apply, Dedicate in Prayer).

9am to 12pm – Read my journal.  I read it the same way I would a textbook or business book.  Look for key dates, milestones, important people, etc.  I often take a piece of scratch paper and write down a tally for how many times I mention my wife, my kids, my church, my job, and other important things in my life.  The saying goes that if you want to see what is important to a person read their checkbook register.  It is also true of their journal.

If you’ve never picked up a journal before or written down your thoughts before it might seem a little goofy.  “Grown ups don’t keep diaries” is what a man once told me.  There is a lot of power in clarifying your thoughts, emotions, and intentions on paper.  A mentor once told me that “you cannot really have a real, tangible thought unless you can communicate it on paper.”  Take the 90 minutes and write about one thing – your job, your marriage, your mom – it doesn’t matter.  You’re exercising a new muscle so keep it simple – who, what, when, where, and why.  Sprinkle in some of how you feel so you can sift your true motives.  Then take the second hour and read what you’ve written.  Think about it – really press your mind down on it.  Then write a little more in the 90 minutes about what you’ve learned about yourself.  Periodically stop and read what you’ve written, clarify your thoughts as if you’re talking with another person.  You’re sifting yourself, so do it well.

12pm to 1pm – Lunch.  Take an hour to relax.  Eat your lunch.  Take a walk.  Let your mind take a breather from all the work you’ve put in to this point.  Whatever you do though, do not use this time to read Foxnews or ESPN.  Picking up your iPad to “just check a few emails” completely destroys the separated environment you’ve created.  There will be a fire at work “that only you can solve.”  The reality is that it can wait.  Don’t let the good steal the great here.  If you need some entertainment during lunch grab a newspaper in the Preparing for a Day of Solitude step.  That is disconnected enough from the world spinning by.

1pm to 2pm – Take the book that I referenced earlier and thumb through it for the next hour.  Go to the places in the book that you’ve underlined and dog-eared.  Let your mind soak in the words of the author and be filled from their words.

2pm to 5pm – Take out your journal and scratch paper that you’ve done your inventory on.  If this is your first time journaling, don’t sweat it.  Bucket your life into major categories.  My categories are:

Personal – all things related to me, my growth, my development, etc.

Family – all things related to those in my immediate family

Church – all things related to people at church and ministries I’m involved in

Community – all things related to extended family, friends, etc.

Finances & Vocation – all things related to personal finances and work

A quick word on “life buckets.”  You don’t want to have too many.  3-5 is really the right way to think about life.  Too much detail and separation can cause fragmentation in your thinking.  There is a lot of overlap within the 5 I have and rather than trying to itemize my life into minutia, embrace the overlap and let that drive your planning.

Now grab a second piece of paper and jot down the same life buckets.  Think about life life 12 months from now.  What do you want life to look like in each of the buckets?  If you want to be growing personally, what will be true of you 12 months from now if you’ve accomplished it?  If you want to be promoted in your job, what title will you have?  What will your salary be?  If you desire to be a better husband what will your wife say of you?

Asking questions of yourself that lead you saying “12 months from now I will be a father that ……” and you fill in the statement.

Here are some examples from my life.

  • Personal: 12 months from now I want to have attended at least one Green Bay Packers game with my dad.
  • Family: At Christmas time I want to be able to take my family into Chicago for two days to experience Christmas time in the city.
  • Church: Captain a basketball team while remaining focused on the growth of the men in the group
  • Community:  Check-in with my out of state friends at least once every 90 days.

Each of the preceding statements paints of a picture of who I want to be in the next 12 months.  The experiences I want to have that will shape me.  The relationships I want to foster that will keep me.  The learnings I want to garner that will help transform me into the man God is creating me to be.

The key to this is not to get bogged down into details (yet) or into including everything.  You’ll know when you’ve exhausted a category when you begin to think of things you’ve already planned or they become so insignificant that you really don’t care if they are accomplished or not.  And if you’re like me you’ll start to get frustrated because you cannot think of any more!

This next part is the last, and best, part of the day.  Take your two sheets of scratch paper and grab your calendar.  We are going to begin methodically plotting the next 12 months.

Start in bucket one, statement one.  Now ask yourself “What is needed to accomplish this in my life?”  And start to write those thoughts down on the scratch paper under the statement.  You may need resources.  You may need buy-in from others.  You may need money.  Whatever it is begin to jot those things down.

Now with your calendar in hand lets begin to break those into tasks that you enter into the calendar.

Let’s use “Going to the Packers game with my dad” as an example.  This seems stupid but there are actually some steps to it that you simply cannot slap together.  First, I need to ask my dad if he’s interested in going with me.  Second, we need to find a game or two that we’d both enjoy attending.  Third, I need to make sure I have ~$600 for tickets.  Fourth, I actually need to buy the tickets.  And finally, we need to figure out how we’re getting to Lambeau.

All of those things seem silly, but without methodically planning this the “Packers game with dad” will never happen.  If it was important enough to put down in the experiences I want to have in the next 12 months, then it’s important enough to plan.

So on my calendar in the next 7 days I will plan a task of “talk with dad about going to a game.”  In the next 14 days I will create a task for finding a game we both agree we’d like to attend.  In the next 30 days I will create a task for getting the $600.  This may be the hardest.  If I don’t have I’ll need to earn it.  That’s what I need to plan.  Do I need to work more hours in the next 30 days?  Do I need to start another business?  Do I need to put things on eBay?  Getting $600 isn’t easy, but if you methodically plan, it doesn’t have to be complicated.  Once I’ve done all this, I will create a task for buying the tickets.  Then put the game on the calendar.

Going through each of your statements and planning the tasks into your calendar creates a roadmap for you to follow over the next 12 months.  Having a roadmap to follow is much easier than trying to make it up as you go alone.

Peter Drucker famously said “What’s measured improves.”  This process is about measuring what we previously thought we couldn’t measure or didn’t measure simply because we didn’t know how.

The benefits of performing the day of solitude this way ensure that you in touch with the reality happening around you.  It also gives the opportunity to alter that reality going forward.

Please let me know you conduct learning about yourself.  I’m always fascinated by the creativity of people and how they learn about themselves.

Learn more about journaling

Submission to Authority

I’m learning a lot lately about submission to authority.  At work, at home, in the church, all places where people are involved – and people are a messy business.  My wife, Stephanie, is a model of strength and submission.  She often exemplifies both in great harmony.  In addition to her, I’m watching my business partner Ryan work through submission in his life.  Another exemplary case.  Ryan has told me a few times

When you only submit to what you agree, the only person to whom I submit is me

Profound words on a difficult subject.

Journaling to remember

MoleskinAbout 10 years ago I was introduced to the concept of journaling by a mentor and friend Dan George. Dan challenged me to write my thoughts. He said that unless I can communicate my thoughts in writing they are not clear thoughts.

The concept of journaling or writing in a diary, whatever you want to call it is based upon the idea of remembrance. Capturing this information on paper helps me remember the facts and details as they happen. It helps me understand the emotions I’m experiencing. And it helps boil down where the scriptures are intersecting with my life.  Journaling is about remembering and learning about yourself.

God also knew that His people can be forgetful so He commanded the earliest form of “journaling” with the nation of Israel.

When all the nation had finished passing over the Jordan, the Lord said to Joshua,  “Take twelve men from the people, from each tribe a man,  and command them, saying, ‘Take twelve stones from here out of the midst of the Jordan, from the very place where the priests’ feet stood firmly, and bring them over with you and lay them down in the place where you lodge tonight.’”  Then Joshua called the twelve men from the people of Israel, whom he had appointed, a man from each tribe.  And Joshua said to them, “Pass on before the ark of the Lord your God into the midst of the Jordan, and take up each of you a stone upon his shoulder, according to the number of the tribes of the people of Israel, that this may be a sign among you. When your children ask in time to come, ‘What do those stones mean to you?’ then you shall tell them that the waters of the Jordan were cut off before the ark of the covenant of the Lord. When it passed over the Jordan, the waters of the Jordan were cut off. So these stones shall be to the people of Israel a memorial forever.”

And the people of Israel did just as Joshua commanded and took up twelve stones out of the midst of the Jordan, according to the number of the tribes of the people of Israel, just as the Lord told Joshua. And they carried them over with them to the place where they lodged and laid them down there. And Joshua set up twelve stones in the midst of the Jordan, in the place where the feet of the priests bearing the ark of the covenant had stood; and they are there to this day. For the priests bearing the ark stood in the midst of the Jordan until everything was finished that the Lord commanded Joshua to tell the people, according to all that Moses had commanded Joshua.

This afternoon I completed my 6th journal and purchased my 7th. The last four journals have been black college ruled Moleskins. The 6th journal was started in June of 2010 and contains a lot of struggle, success, and ultimately learning’s about myself.

Getting a new journal is an opportunity to start over. The writings in the previous journal can be put to bed. The thoughts can still mined for learning’s, but the source is no longer active. The new journal is like uncharted territory and I’m fired up to start the new journey.

Celebrating 10 years of marital bliss

June 16 marks a major milestone in life as I celebrate 10 years of marriage to my beautiful wife Stephanie.  I don’t often write about her, so I thought I’d do a post dedicated to her to mark the occasion.

I have to start with God’s view of marriage.  Genesis 2 describes God’s design for marriage culminating with:

“Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”

As I reflect on the 10 years of marriage and 4 years of dating Stephanie it’s hard to put into words my feelings for me.  They range from love, to admiration, to pride, to satisfaction.  I stop there at the risk of trivializing how amazing my wife is.

So let me tell you the story of how I married up.

 

The High School and McDonald’s years:

I first met Stephanie in a Speech/Debate class.  I needed an easy A in an honors course and this fit the bill.  Seating was based alphabetically and the way they broke down we happened to sit very close to one another.  It was then that I began to notice Stephanie and how stunning she is.

During this time I suggested she come to work at McDonald’s.  I spent a lot of time there working and wanted to spend more time with Stephanie, so this fit into my diabolical plan to woo her.  I often scheduled myself during the same hours or traded shifts with other managers to spend more time with her.

A McDonald’s Memory: One of my favorite stories about Stephanie is the first time she told me that she loved me.  We had been dating a few months, talking on the phones till all hours of the night, and falling in love.  I was working the Filet-O-Fish station that day and I very vividly remember her walking over and whispering “I love  you” into my ear as I finished wrapping a Filet-O-Fish sandwich.  That was one of the best moments of my life.

 

The College Years:

Stephanie went to college in Grand Rapids, Michigan.  That meant I spent my weekends in Grand Rapids too.  During her four years I went through three cars as I drove, and drove, and drove, and drove to spend time with her.

During her time in college she lived in the “engagement house.”  I remember her roommates talking about how everyone who goes through the house comes out engaged.  While it didn’t hold true for all of the roommates, it did for Stephanie.

We got in engaged in October of 1999, primarily because I simply could not wait to put a ring on her.  We took a long (nervous) stroll and when we ended up back at the house I proposed to her on the front porch.  Very simple, very us.

A College Memory: The night we got engaged we wanted to celebrate.  We were so excited but didn’t want to call home with the news quite yet.  So we went out to find a place to celebrate, any place.  We ended up buying $100 worth of bridal magazines at Meijer and eating Arby’s.  They were the only places open.

 

Our Wedding

We were married on Saturday June 16, 2001.  There were about ~140 guests at the wedding.  By far it was the best day of my life.

Two things stand out to me about the day.  First, I drove to the wedding by myself.  Driving there I listened to a Kenny Chesney CD, more specifically the song “Just Don’t Happen Twice.”  Each time I hear that song I now think of that drive.  I had no reservations; I knew I was marrying up.

Second, I remember a point in the reception where I walking around talking with the guests and I just stopped to watch my wife.  She was dancing and enjoying herself.  The day was hers and she thoroughly enjoyed it.  I often long to honor her with another reception like this.

A Wedding Memory: We had a dry wedding.  Though that didn’t stop a few people from getting completely hammered.  One of our groomsmen missed all of our wedding photos as a result of his endeavors.   Stephanie handled this in stride and just laughed it off.  We continue to laugh about it to this day.  Look at the pictures and see if you can guess.

 

Present Day:

Over the last 10 years Stephanie has proven to me time and again that I made the right decision.   It is very clear to me that God provided a woman who is my equal and counterpart in every way.  Proverbs states it best “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the LORD.”

There are so many stories and moments I can share from the first 10 years of our marriage.  God has allowed a lot of ups and down, but has always allowed us to love Him and one another graciously.  We have seen friendships blossom and fade, children born (lots of them), marathons run, Stephanie was on TV, business successes and failures, and many moves (10 of them).  In all of these my wife has dealt with my graciously, with dignity, and with unwavering devotion and for that I am grateful.  Only the words of Willie Nelson’s great song can attempt to describe my love “You were always on my mind, You are always on my mind.”

I love you Stephanie.  Happy 10 Year Anniversary.  I pray the Lord gives us many more anniversaries to celebrate.

33 years old – Like a Rock

Today I spent some time listening to Bob Seger’s Greatest Hits album while I working outside.  I hit the song “Like a Rock.”  Normally I’ll skip over this song because Chevy has completely ruined it for me, but since I was feeling manly from working outside, I thought I’d listen.

Seger’s song starts out with a young man at 18.  He’s a hard worker, he’s learning, growing, he’s buff, and he’s ready to grab the world by the throat.  As the song progresses though Seger laments the classic line

Twenty years, where’d they go?  Twenty years, I just don’t know.  Sit and I wonder sometimes, where they’ve gone.

You know he’s taking about his life at this point.  The pain of regret, the wishful thinking of what once was, all of these things are flooding his mind as his sings.

The song started me thinking about my life and the lives of men around me.  I’ve been reading a lot of books lately on leadership, being a man, and doing both to the glory of God.  It seems there is something that happens in the life of man when he passes 33 years old.  No longer can he rely solely on his strength to be equal to the task.  Seger knows this, athletes know it, and I’m learning it.

Joe Posnanski of Sports Illustrated quoted Stan Musial in an unusual article:  “a baseball players prime age is 28 to 32.”  Mr. Posnanski then went on to chronicle a number of baseball players, Hall of Famers and otherwise high achievers, showing a drop off in production when the man reached his 33rd year of life.  There are big names on this list like Hack Wilson, Duke Snider and Bobby Doerr.  Worse yet he was painting the picture in light of today’s superstars Alfonso Soriano, Alex Rodriguez, David Ortiz, and Lance Berkman.  Maybe calling them yesterday’s superstars is more appropriate.  Even more recently we’ve been hearing about Kobe Bryant being a “step slower.”  Kobe turns 33 on August 23.

A man’s life has many classifications.  John Eldredge famously classified them in his best selling book The Way of the Wild Heart as:  Boyhood, Cowboy, Warrior, Lover, King, and Sage.  Mr. Eldredge would place the 33 year old man into the Warrior category, assuming he is pacing along properly in life.  There are hundreds of classifications of a mans’s life out there to refer to.  The point is not to label it, but to give my life and others markers.  Therefore, I’m left asking myself the question “You’re too young for a midlife crisis, but at 33 years old, are you too old to be an everyday Warrior?”

Don’t misinterpret what I’m saying.  I’ll still work you under the table every day of the week and twice on Sunday.  My parents trained me well in work ethic.  Evaluating the careers of men who achieved greatness in their professions after 33 where there profession required a significant element of both mental and physical exertion on a daily basis is now something of great interest to me.  To understand how these men have shifted the way they exert their energies, the way they work with other young men to accomplish their goals, and they way they ultimately shift their thinking toward “king” and begin growing in that direction.  Understanding this seems like the key to being a successful entrepreneur, a successful basketball player in the twilight of your career, or being a successful mom when energy is at a premium.

Steve Jobs: “You’ve got to find what you love”

This text came from Steve Job’s commencement speech to the Stanford graduating class in 2005.  The original text can be found on the Stanford Report website.

I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I’ve ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That’s it. No big deal. Just three stories.

The first story is about connecting the dots.

I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out?

It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: “We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?” They said: “Of course.” My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college.

And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents’ savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn’t see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn’t interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting.

It wasn’t all romantic. I didn’t have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends’ rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example:

Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn’t have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can’t capture, and I found it fascinating.

None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, it’s likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.

Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.

My second story is about love and loss.

I was lucky — I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation — the Macintosh — a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating.

I really didn’t know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down – that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me — I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.

I didn’t see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.

During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I returned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple’s current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together.

I’m pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn’t been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don’t lose faith. I’m convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You’ve got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don’t settle.

My third story is about death.

When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: “If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you’ll most certainly be right.” It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?” And whenever the answer has been “No” for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure – these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn’t even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor’s code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you’d have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.

I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and I’m fine now.

This was the closest I’ve been to facing death, and I hope it’s the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept:

No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don’t want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life’s change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960′s, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions.

Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: “Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.” It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

Thank you all very much.

Vince Lombardi’s Winning Ways

Coach Vince LombariVince Lombardi’s greatest lesson to me is demonstrating the growth orientated mentality.  The writer of Vince Lombardi’s Winning Ways said it this way.  “His real goal wasn’t just to win, but to create the will to win that made winning possible.”  Similar to Coach K at Duke in his approach, Coach Lombardi believed in training men to reach their full potential.  That is the summation of his coaching and teaching style that has left it’s enduring mark on the sport and the world.

Two things stood out to me in this book.  First the statement Coach Lombardi makes to the Packers when they report to training camp for the first time in July 1959.  Coach Lombardi says “You’ve got to give everything that is in you.  You’ve got to keep yourself in prime physical condition, because fatigue makes cowards of us all.”  The other is from Jerry Kramer.  He referred to that same training camp when he said “And there were plays to be run, again and again, until every man knew every maneuver every possible variation.”  Preparation is the key to victory in life.

Prepare or Preparation:  to put in proper condition or readiness.  Vince Lombardi knew how to make a team ready to achieve his goal – every player giving their full effort in unison, thus producing perfection on the field.

As I think about translating this to my business my initial reaction is “it’s not that clear cut.”  In reality if I understand the vision of what I’m trying to achieve then the milestones and resulting daily activity show themselves.  It’s starting with the end in mind and working backwards to today in order to see the building blocks it takes to go from today’s player to tomorrow’s champion.

The idea that fatigue leads to cowardliness goes far beyond the body.  The mental fatigue coupled with the physical fatigue is often what leads to cowardliness for me.  The results are mediocre work days, procrastination, and the desire to fight “tomorrow.”  John Wooden is clear that if I don’t put forth the effort today it’s lost, you cannot go back tomorrow and make up for the lost opportunity today.

The mandate is clear from the way Coach Lombardi lived his life.  Discipline leads to desire leads to delight.  It all starts with daily discipline, but it all ends with enjoying the fruits of that labor in the future.

Proverbs 21:5 says The plans of the diligent lead surely to abundance, but everyone who is hasty comes only to poverty.

Family Driven Faith: Doing What It Takes to Raise Sons and Daughters Who Walk with God

Voddie Baucham’s Family Driven Faith is as challenging to the local church, the idea of “youth ministry”, as it is to my family.

The theme repeated throughout the book is that it’s my job as a parent to disciple my children.  Matthew 28:19-20 says “Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you.”  Dr. Baucham repeatedly talks about the importance of making sure discipleship is happening within the home.

Dr. Baucham has challeneged the established order within our home encouraging us to adopt a family worship time.  It’s interesting to think through what this could look like, and how it might shape our family.

There is still a lot to think about, but right out of the box this is a book to recommend that all Christians should get their hands on.

Jim Morrison: Life, Death, Legend

2011 will be a year marked by books.  In my annual planning I’ve outlined that I’ll be reading three types of books:

  1. Business – “how to’s” or case study type books.
  2. Marriage & Spiritual – books on how to grow closer to Jesus Christ and to Stephanie.
  3. Biographies – stories of heartache and triumph.

My first selection was Jim Morrison:  Life, Death, Legend.  Reading biographies for me help me process through what is going on in my own life.  They also tend to remind me that no one got big overnight, rather they did it over many nights as Malcom Gladwell describes in the Rule of 10,000 hours in Outliers.

It was fascinating for me to learn about the Doors ascent to fame, Jim’s utter disdain for material life, and FBI’s files on Jim Morrison.  Being a classic rock junkie the Doors have always been one of my favorite bands.  Their sound is so original and their lyrics are rarely pop.  Jim had a deep passion to understand himself and the world around him – his major flaw was the constant use of drugs and alcohol to enhance this quest.

To learn about the bands really early days – Jim singing “Moonlight Drive” on the beach to Ray as they were trying to figure out what to do with their lives; the band bringing aboard Robbie who contributed some of their greatest radio hits, and the bands struggles with crowds, management and finances.

Reading through the content of their lives, Jim in particular, summed up in a few hundred pages help me put things in perspective at Uloop as we struggle for success in a crowded marketplace.

In a strange way, seeing how long it took the Doors to ascend, and their skyrocket straight up from their first radio hit (“Light my fire”) gives me hope in what the book of Proverbs says.  Solomon said in Proverbs 14:3 says “Where there are no oxen, the manger is clean, but abundant crops come from by the strength of the ox.”  And a little while later in 14:23 he says “In all toil there is profit, but mere talk tends only to poverty.”  Seeing the men work, and work, and then work some more at their labor of love, music, strangely confirmed those scriptures for me.

So while I may not recommend this book to those reading this post, I do recommend the Doors perseverance for that which they loved music, and commend that same spirit to you as you journey towards what you love.