Ephesians 6:1-2 says: Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.”

In this spirit I would like to honor my father, Norm Lewis. My desire is not to elevate him through false memories. It is also not to promote him as “the greatest dad of all time.”  And it is not to compare us as men or fathers’.  My goal is to share three simple observations of the legacy imprinted upon me by my father. These items cut to my core and are part of the value system I am passing onto my wife and children.

Dad building the wall on Baldwin

Observation 1: My work ethic was caught, not taught.

As a child it was difficult for me to appreciate the weight a man has to provide for his family. It can be terrifying responsibility and it is something my dad embraced daily. For decades, up through today, I’ve watched my dad rise before the sun and come home after its setting. I have always assumed all fathers do this, but as I’ve gotten older and more involved in the lives of other men, I have been able to observe that my dad is part of a rare breed of men that embrace responsibility, work to produce it’s fruit.

During my years at home I don’t ever remember my dad telling me to “work hard.” I can remember him telling me to give my all, to do my best, and to push myself. I can remember being taught a specific skill – mowing the lawn correctly, washing windows properly, serving my the generation that preceded me. But in my memory there is not a single instance where work ethic was discussed. Looking back I realize it did not need to be taught because it was demonstrated for me more times than I can count.

My favorite memories of time with my dad also proved to be some of the deepest times of training in work ethic. Rising before the sun many Saturday mornings so that I could tag along in the truck with my dad are cherished memories of mine. Drinking coffee together. Driving between stops in the basement of the Cambridge. Pulling the levers to raise the dumpster into the hopper. Each of these was so much fun to me as a kid, but I did not realize I was watching my dad work like a sled dog as he collected other people’s garbage. A lesser man would’ve been embarrassed by this, but not my dad, he used this as an opportunity to teach me one of the greatest character traits that has molded me, and is molding the next generation of Lewis’. It is the #3 family value behind “Love God” and “Family First” – “Work with excellence.”

God created work before the fall in Genesis 1. God himself is a worker. I believe that my study of the scriptures is showing me that heaven will not be a time of rest and “playing harps in the clouds,” but it will still be a time of greater creativity and work. The beauty of it though is that we will be able to work without the effects of sin and will be thus revel in the glory of God full time from our work.

Dad, as a young man I commend you for your hard work. You worked on days you didn’t feel like it, on days you were sick, on days when you had more pressing things on your mind like a struggling marriage, financial matters, or a sick mother. Through each of these you didn’t complain (at least outwardly) and I want to recognize and pay tribute to you for this. Thank you for your example – for me, for my wife, and for my children.

Dad teaching me to swing (before we figured out I was a left handed batter)

Observation 2: Never outwardly embarrassed of me.

Since I’ve started having children I’ve spent a lot of time with other older men asking questions. As I’ve observed these men and their grown children through direct contact and stories, I’ve observed the child’s sense of self worth, self confidence, and place in the world was provided by their father. I’m not ready to say this is a universal truth, but it is clear to me that a father plays a critical role in their child’s understanding of their place in this world.

One of the greatest gifts you gave me dad is a sense of self confidence. I know who I am. I am aware of my strengths and weaknesses. I’m not afraid to fail. I’m not afraid to be wrong. I’m not afraid to ask for forgiveness. And I’m not afraid to do what is right even if it’s unpopular or painful.

Thinking back over the last 33+ years there are so many times you could’ve been embarrassed by my actions, my attitudes, and even my performance. I think of the time when I was ~10 and we were riding in the Wheeling parade in a new Recycling truck cab with Keri in the back. Some fool in the crowd was yelling slurs at us and in my embarrassment I fired back some hurtful comments to him, not realizing I’m representing my family and your company. Rather than being embarrassed by my actions you simply reigned me in and we moved on. I think of the time in 8th grade I shouted at an umpire over an obviously bad call against me. My attitude was in the dumps as the umpire came over to scold me for showing him up. Rather than jumping on me to save face with the other parents you pulled me aside scolded me in private and made me apologize to the umpire. And finally I think of my 7th grade baseball season. I remember having one hit the entire season and being a complete liability the entire season. Rather than pulling me from baseball, or letting me walk through that season alone, you showed up every day, you cheered, and you encouraged me to get up and try again. A lesser man would have been embarrassed that his son was such a liability.

As I watch my children grow up I realize how big of a fool I am. Always thinking I have the world by the tail, not realizing the tail is wagging the dog. If you were embarrassed by me, I appreciate the fact that you did not let me know that. It has given me a tremendous amount of self confidence and it’s become something God uses on a regular basis in the lives of others. One of the strengths I have is the ability to lend confidence to others. As a result of this I’m often placed into leadership and I try often to follow your example on this. I believe this is one of the reasons the Lord gave me 4 daughters too.

Dad, as a father of 4 daughters and a son, let me commend you for the way you trained my heart, instilling deep into me a sense that I’m of value to you and can create value in the world. This extends to every corner of my life and it’s affects are being felt by each person I lead.

Dad shooting pool and listening to some tunes

Observation 3: My appreciation and deep love of music.

This may seem like a strange reason to pay tribute to you, but hear me out. Music has always been something deeply important to me. It has helped shape my thinking. It has given voice to emotions that I simply cannot boil down for myself. My musical tastes have been shaped more by your likes than by anyone else’s. And in music I find a deep satisfaction because of the way I am able to worship the Lord Jesus Christ. I cannot read a single a note, cannot play a lick on a guitar, and really don’t even know how to play Mary had a little lamb on our piano, but when I hear a song where a man shares honestly about himself, his struggles, and his life, I praise God for music.

Even now as I write this I am listening to Bob Seger and the Silver Bullet Band singing “Against the Wind.” Hearing the struggle, the pursuit, identifying with his life and pain, allows me to worship Jesus Christ in a way that others may not be able to.

Music is something deeply important to God and He has imprinted that desire on the hearts of men. Psalm 98:1-2 says “Make a joyful noise to the LORD, all the earth! Serve the LORD with gladness! Come into his presence with singing!”

Dad, your tastes in music have greatly influenced mine, and I’m now seeing them influence my wife and children as well. I don’t know if my children will grow up to be great musicians, rock strars, or simply play the guitar to get girls, but they will know how to appreciate music for more than just the melody, and they will be able to connect that with the God who created music himself.

Summary:

Dad, you are man worthy of honor and praise. Not for what you do, but because you are special person created by God himself. I pray Jesus Christ would be elevated in your life and that you find your purposes in His alone. God gave me a special blessing by allowing me to be able to look back and draft this for you. Please receive my honor for being my father each time you read this note.